Different Girl, Same Shit, Same Season.

August 9, 2011

You say you know this misery
Well that’s no more than sympathy for me 
Because this time you were faking
Your motive very questioning
This silence is so defining now 
You see you’ve got me shaking
Screaming cursing then you spit 
And saying all your worthless shit
And I, of course, I’m worth hearing
And I don’t know of what I sing
But you, my friend, don’t know anything 
And that’s what makes you not worth fearing!

 

It’s finally time. Dreaded when this day would bust through my door and stare into my eyes; That moment when you just know shit is going to go down. It’s mostly the eye staring that gives it away. Though I wanted patiently while wishing I was more prepared, I know that I could never be. Preparation is everything now days. Iv’e never had good organisation skills and I regret not being able to develop them. Though I guess I have the rest of my life to change that; I guess i have the rest of my life to do a lot of things. So you are probably wondering whats going on in the life of Kyle? how selfish of me.

I have to give up on my current lifestyle. I snapped! I just can’t take this any more. This isn’t healthy for me one bit.  I can’t, I just can’t! It’s starting to bring the worst out of me. I need to change or at least adapt. I need some sort of realisation or epiphany. Or maybe both at the same time like a super epiphany of epic miraculous realisation. Something cool like that. Though I really can’t keep doing this. My self hatred and signs of depression are getting to me. JUST FUCK OF DEPRESSION NO ONE LIKES YOU! Though the sad part about it. It’s all because I’m happy. Yeah what the fuck? I want to believe its all in my head. Please tell me its all in my head. Though Its real. I’m just not meant to be happy. My body just won’t let me. Maybe I need to see a therapist. Though I can’t stand people telling me my own problems. Maybe it’s all in my head.

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