Lately I’ve been wishing I had one desire.

 

Hey everyone, I know, I know I haven’t blogged in a while. I have been meaning too. Sometimes I get drunk and really want to WORDPRESS some shit out then I realise i’m at some sort of party and I have to entertain. I always have to entertain sometimes I feel like a clown not many people would know how upsetting my life is. I know Its not anything to complain about “it’s life;its meant to be fucked up” Though I really do hide away all the bullshit in my life like its some sort of special power. Every once in a while it does takes its toll. I’m not saying I’m he only one like this, i do know plenty of people who do the same though aren’t as entertaining/full on with their friends. So lets talk about my life! IT”S BEEN A WHILE or a whale. It’s been a whale a killer WHALE. Orcas (aka as the Killer whale) are in danger because of human contamination of their waters. Recent studies have found that they are among the most contaminated marine mammals.

Life is what it should be at the moment. BALANCED! Following a terrible stroke of bad luck I found my days are getting better and better. I also Found out that Bright Eyes is coming To Brisbane!!!!  I can hardly explain how excited I am to see them live! The best way to put it is. After I see them live I will have the ability if a choose to do so commit suicide. Though thats just today,I think we should BACK TRACK A BIT!  I went to Gladstone for my holidays. It was really a last miniute thing. Raymond (my bestie) said he would be coming to Brisbane. When I found out his sexy ass wasent coming to Brisbane I was not going to let him get away from me that easily! So the next day I left for Gladstone and ended up missing my train. SHUT UP IT WAS A SMALL MISTAKE! turns out I can’t read time tables. I saw Raymond in the end. Though I didnt talk/ spend as much time as I wanted too I still saw him. Gladstone is what I really needed. I didnt realise how much I needed to get away from fucking Goodna/all the bullshit down here! On my days off here I sit on Facebook,listen to music and do NOTHING! Facebook is so draining. I hate being on it all of the time! I need more things to do. I know my life can be better, why don’t I make it better instead of making it worst!! whats with all these exclamation MARKS!!! ARHHHHHHHHHHH. Well I need to talk to you guys later about some Important things! so untill then be safe xxox

Man #1 :we are all searching for a cure

Man#2 :A cure for what?

Man#1 : Does it matter? As long as we are searching, we might find something.

 

(I feel like I’m being sexist. I mean I just used Men and no Women in that thing above me. Thought if you feel like I’m being sexist, you should probably get fucked and go live in a house with 17 windows you freak!)

So it’s that time again that i start talking about my life because i know you guys are so excited about my life. This week has been going pretty fast and action packed and no doubt I have learnt about many things and thought about others. I realised My relationship with my farther is more of a school Principle relationship rather than a Farther and son thing if you didn’t know. I’m really the odd one out. Out of all my brothers I’m the least closes to my Dad. Yeah I’m more of a mothers boy. Though because I’m a middle child it’s really never worked out like it suppose too. I guess mid way through my life I had to start comforting myself  in other ways to compensate for the lack of “attention” I lusted for. I guess thats why I’m so good at making friends. I also grew attachment to inanimate objects. Having myself to play/entertain myself. falling in love with video games. Yeah things are pretty fucked up. Though it could be worst and I’m thankful that I have to deal with his then my brothers.

Another thing that has dominated my mind lately is death. Well old age. Amnesia! I mean losing your mind is a crazy thing to think of. I mean whats the point of life if you can’t remember shit! Though a day is going to come where everything is going to come to an end or when no one will miss you/remember you any more.  It’s really depressing to think about. Thats just life imagine how many people thought of this hundreds of year ago. All those people who just mean nothing whose names are forgotten. Though they have had a bigger impact on our lives then we could guess. I mean if you went back in time a thousand years ago and killed 1 a random child. Everything would be so different. Our impact on this world may seem small however larger than we think. Though it might seem pointless maybe it has more point to it then we think? Who the fuck knows. Deal with it.

 

So I guess I’m going to start to talk about my love life,Because its juicy! Yes so juicy that you could make some sort of juice drink. I myself is terrified about by this whole love thing. I’m really not sure if I’m actually capable. I mean my heart has been out of action for so long I wouldn’t really know how you can actually work it. I mean if A heart defies logic you are pretty much fucked. Or are you? there is really no telling who or what feature physical or non physical is the best. Perfect people don’t exist and if they did you wouldn’t be close to even breathing their air from their lungs. I mean come on, You aren’t  perfect. Perfect people are too busy non existing then to look at blogs.  Though The truth is I want to lie with you. The truth is you aren’t worth missing out on. The truth is you’re amazing;we;; I think so.

you made my head ache. You were that great but now you’re gone and life is wonderful.

Oh Mr Kyle you have gone way too far this time. I must admit; you did know this was going to happen. What an adventure though. 

Hey guys, whats been up? oh yeah that’s right you can’t reply 😦 I guess I will tell you about me then?

Life at the moment is so chilled. I’ve been doing nothing but listening to bright eyes and playing League of Legends. Well other things but I have really just been doing nothing. Finally there is peace in my mind and its beautiful. I began dreaming a lot. Just about random things. I’m afraid I wont have so much peace in my mind. The fact is shit is about to go down. It has too!  I mean peace doesn’t last forever something has to disrupt it. Though I am prepared. OH I started making Youtube videos again. Hopefully I don’t give up on making them.

So I have some important stuff to Blog about. Lately I been trying not to get my heart all warped up in something they may hurt it. It’s not easy. Though it is possible, it just comes with a cost. (As everything does) I have a strong belief that at a certain point feelings can’t be changed on demand or with any reason. Feelings are just jerks like that! Though they can be manipulated. Deceiving yourself is a way to do so. Though it can make you go insane. Mixed emotions are terrible! Well to me they are unbearable. I really can’t stand it. Its like there is splits sides of me and mixed emotion invokes a constant argument/battle with myself. I fight with yourself you can never really win. Even if you do win you are still losing. There is no worst or better end of the stick you just suck so don’t fight yourself. The reality is though I would rather suck then get my heart hurt again. I think most people would just suck.

Though I decided to follow my feelings. In the hope they will lead somewhere awesome. I mean no matter where they lead me, I’m sure It won’t be that bad.

 

Shaco. Everything about him ❤