Fate.Hope.Morels and asthma puffers

April 26, 2011

I don’t know when but a days gonna come.

July 8th should be a day to remember. predicted that something will happen that day via messages ive seen in dreams.

As you guys know,i Crashed my car about a month ago,if you didn’t know this then now you do? Any who its been the least of my worries,I guess most things don’t bother me much. Why is it so hard to care? I struggle to care yet I’m told im such a caring person (so people tell me)

To be honest,I think I’m content,well almost content. My mind frame is content but don’t get me wrong I’m not happy nor sad. Content is the best possible word I could think of. It has its down sides though. Motivation! I already have everything I need so I don’t “want” much AND IM OKAY WITH THIS! I accepted that fact. which sucks. Dose this make me less of a human being? I constantly feel lest out,like I don’t belong.  I hardly try for anything these day. Is this how old people feel?

Anyway life been a bitch, mind frame isn’t working/helping. problems are getting worst, nothing ever gets better and when it does I fucking dread it. I enjoy things being the same. When things get better i see it as a opportunity to get worst. This way of thinking probably lead to the content way of thinking.

I recently met a grill i mean a girl. Fate decently has something to do with it. (fates a cunt) ((enough so, to make me drop the c-bomb)) Old feelings different thoughts. I really would like my instincts to start working some time soon. Logic from past events seem not to be helping. Analyzing……over analyzing, contrasting try not to compare is a compleat waste of time. Life shouldnt be wasted on thinking!. I wish i could follow my heart (as corny as that sounds). Though my heart has let me down on most occasions. This would be so much easier if I wisent stuck in this mind-set.

I begging to think im cursed. Or that aura exist. Each time i like or am liked by a girl another 2 or 3 sometimes 6 will come out of nowhere and start talking to me. I mean with no doubt! so troublesome and who ever cursed me is a gaf!


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