You said you will always be here.

May 3, 2010

We all know the tables have turned,but what are you gonna do when the tables burn?. -lil Wayne

I have less than 2 weeks of this shit. According to my belief that on May 13th my life should just start working out EPPICLY. If things don’t well,I’m going to try to get rid of this curse and do something stupid like become a painter after becoming blind(Y). I’m just sick of feeling like shit all the time. My behaviour has not improved at all. Its getting worst, Im getting worst.  My life is just a fucking mess to what it’s used to be. There is just no more motivation to get it back on track, too much effort for what?. I chilled so much back in the day, hardly a worry in the world. Life was good but not great.

Now I’m thinking about my past life,shit. Well I have nothing really interesting to blog about. “I can change, I would do anything for you” was something that I actually said to a girl . turns out I never did change.  I still manage to do the exact same thing. You bet I have changed now though (evil laugh).  I don’t even recognise my self anymore. I look into the mirror every morning and ask”who the fuck are you?””who am I?” then it would reply with”I’m just a mirror I don’t know much” . I have to start to…… just make every thing right not wrong. Stop living in a lie or in lies or above lies and over lies (which is kinda like above but not really) I would also would like to stop living under lies and beside lies.Oh no to mention 35 degrees upwards on the left of lies. hahaha some how I didn’t picture it to turn out like this. All I can do now is laugh. Hope for the best. WAIT. screw hopping,I gotta grab the best. I’m not going to wait for things to just turn out right,stop thinking that everything is going to be alright. My life is not a movie, my happily ever after does not exist. So i should start living in the truth(Y) maybe above the truth and over the truth, and so on and so on

One Day

 

so here I am. Its only 10:28pm and I need sleep.I have Uni tomorrow I think. have like 3 assignments due next week. I WILL DO THEM WEDNESDAY.(more lies) So my long weekend was really random.Whatching “yes man” gave me motivation to say YES to everything. After doing it for one night I have decided to give up for the better of my life. ALL because it led to me and my cousin hitching a ride home. HITCH HIKING IS FUCKING SCARYYYYY. I don’t suggest anyone to do it,but it was an adventure that turned out alright. It didn’t really lead to a girl on a scooter but hey,I had a hell of a story to tell.  So I been doing stuff im not pleased of. SO I did some things that I am pleased off(Y). 🙂 I don’t belive in karma however i do belive in most of it. You do good things,good things would come your way. However I belive more in ying-yang concept. BALANCE. There is a good and bad side to everything. If your life it good it will turn bad eventually. If your life is bad it will turn good. When you think of a druggos or homeless people or kids in third world countries you suddenly think that this concept doesn’t work, but maybe that bum of a druggo is more happy than you are. Imagine that. The happiest people are the ones doing drugs. I’m not really sure about those african kids though. well I have had enough. If something good happens later on something bad will happen and vise versa yo.

Goodnight

now im drunk as hell
on a piano bench

and when i press the

keys it all gets

revered

 the sound of

loneliness

makes me happier

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